For a class called “Spiritual Traditions and Practices” we had an assignment where we participated in a silent retreat. The class was doing it this past Friday, but unfortunately, I had class and needed to do it on my own. Now – if you know me at all, I don’t particularly like being alone, never mind being alone in silence. But since I had an assignment due for this retreat – I couldn’t get out of it. And of course it happened to fall in one of the busiest weeks of the school year, but after some nudging from God, and my friend Ashley, I did it this morning.
The “retreat” which consisted of me laying, reading, and praying in my bed, was guided from a handout and focused on a time of thanksgiving and a time of confession. I spent the first portion of time centering myself, which again, if you know me, is a mighty feat in and of itself. But I did and was able to meditate prayerfully on Psalm 103. It was very good and life giving and as I was praying and meditating, I kept coming up with things to be thankful for. I think it helps that I have embarked on a thankfulness journey this month, but I just have so much to be thankful for! Then I got the song lyrics from Casting Crowns, Your Love is Extravagant in my head, but just the portion “Spread wide in the arms of Christ”. As I kept singing it over and over, I just got this amazing picture of Christs arms spread wide bestowing me with so many blessings. I saw items, persons, nature scenes, and symbols of love and grace and mercy just coming at me through the open arms of Christ. I thanked God for that picture and moved on to confession.
Now, I’ve been going through Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline through our women’s group at church and last weeks discipline happened to be confession. In all honesty, I had done a lot of confession the past week, so I wasn’t sure that there would be much more. But as I was praying and reflecting through Psalm 32, I got the same song lyric and picture in my head, but this time it was different. I still saw all those blessings, but this time, I saw Christ’s arms HOLDING my burdens. All the things I had confessed last week were in his arms and he was holding them up, while still bestowing blessing after blessing on me. It was an amazing, powerful, tear-inducing image of the God who loves me so much carrying my burdens like they aint no thing while still giving me everything I need and more!
My life truly is spread wide in the arms of Christ. He is my supply and my confessor. He is my alpha and omega. His arms hold me, my marriage, my house, my relationships, my sins, my filth, my dirt, my laughs, my family, my joys, my heartbreaks – and he holds all of yours too. Isn’t that amazing?